Leadership

From Nice Guy to Respected Leader: 5 Tactics Nice Guys Can Use to Gain Respect and Avoid Finishing Last

From Nice Guy to Respected Leader: 5 Tactics Nice Guys Can Use to Gain Respect and Avoid Finishing Last

What he said to me was, “You’re such a nice guy, Mike. The nicest.”

What he meant was, “Everyone is trampling all over you. You’re not aggressive enough. You’re never going to get anywhere in life, and you certainly aren’t going to find success in this company.”

I’ve heard it a thousand times before.

“Mike, you’re such a nice guy.”

or

“Mike, you’re the nicest. So nice.”

Which would be great if it were a compliment. But it’s not.

Of course, there’s truth to what they say. I am nice. I do treat others with kindness. I would give you the shirt of my back if you needed it.

But their so called compliments are laced with an undercurrent of misgiving concerning my ability to get ahead in life or, at the very least, avoid the wrath of distrustful, self-interested sinners who would rob me of my possessions, my honor, and my virtue.

These stabs at my character disguised as flattery are enough to make me wonder if I should be more of an asshole.

Nice guys finish last, right

The Necessary Ingredient to Leadership, Competitive Greatness, Everything

The Necessary Ingredient to Leadership, Competitive Greatness, Everything

It was a three Advil and two Tylenol kind of morning.

I should have known it would be.

You can’t drink two beers, down three glasses of wine, eat four cake pops, go to bed five hours late, and expect to wake up at six am rearing to go.

At least I can’t.

No, when I woke this morning after a night of food-and-bedtime-debauchery, you could have told me…

Using Your Authority to Help Others

Everyone is an authority on something.

Even if it's obscure. Even if it's unknown. You have authority.

Authority grants you the freedom to advise, help, and correct others. It stems from insider knowledge and more experience than the next guy.

With authority, people will look you for guidance, for advice, for your opinion.

Unless you give that authority up.

The problem with authority is that others will steal it. Not to be mean. They simply want what's best for themselves and so will work hard, learn more, and position themselves as a natural replacement for all you've done.

If that happens, you become irrelevant.

Don't become irrelevant.

Share what you know, with anyone who needs your advice, freely. Don't shy away from speaking up, taking charge, showing others that you can help them with your experience and know-how.

And above all, don't stop learning. Always work hard to stay a step ahead of those who would rush to help themselves by displacing you.

Everyone is an authority on something.

Remember what you are an authority on and take steps to maintain that authority so you can help others for years to come.


About the Author

fullsizeoutput_5731.jpeg

Michael Mehlberg

HUSBAND, FATHER, ENTREPRENEUR, BUSINESS STRATEGIST, AUTHOR, FITNESS NUT, ORGANIZATION FREAK, PRODUCTIVITY JUNKIE

I help high-achieving entrepreneurs live their passion and achieve their dreams by consistently saving time, getting productive, and being more efficient and organized.

Subscribe to my free, short, 60-second newsletter for tips, tricks, links, products, and other discoveries to becoming a more purposeful, passionate, and productive human.

How to Help 93% of Your Employees Feel More Productive

How to Help 93% of Your Employees Feel More Productive

Just recently, Forbes published an article reporting that only 7% of workers feel productive during the workday. 

7 percent!!!

Just think about that for a minute... 93 out of 100 employees don't feel like they can get their work done.

And if they don’t feel like they’re getting their work done… Guess what? Let’s just say they could be doing a lot more.

What do they blame?

    Dealing with Difficult Customers and Providing Great Customer Service

    Dealing with Difficult Customers and Providing Great Customer Service

    If you're reading this, you may have dealt with angry and difficult customers too. Maybe you’re dealing with one right now?

    These customers seem to suck all your time, energy, and happiness right out of your business. They complain, make demands, and force you to spend an inordinate amount of time fixing their problems so nasty word doesn't spread about your customer service.

    It's a firefight. And since you’re the business owner, someone handed you the hose.

    Say the wrong thing, and it just adds fuel to the fire. Let it burn too long, and it spreads.

    So how do you keep it from spreading? More importantly, how do you keep the next one from starting so you can focus on building a business instead of controlling damage?

    That's what we're going to look at today. And it all starts with creating a customer focused organization, from the top down...

    Team Building Like a Professional with James Bennett

    Team Building Like a Professional with James Bennett

    Quick...

    Can you describe the difference between teamwork and team building? 

    Do you know the three factors to creating an effective team building event?

    How do you apply vulnerability-based trust into your leadership and management goals to bring out the most productive, effective, and excited staff?

    These questions aren't for the feint of heart, and often take years to understand and execute. 

    Unless you're a Professional team builder like James Bennett of Firefly Events. 

    James runs a small business to build team productivity, camaraderie, and effectiveness through planned events and outings. His experience is incredibly deep, and the list of companies he's worked with is impressive, to say the least. 

    In our interview with James, we uncover some of his secrets to building strong teams, tips for dealing with toxic employees, and influential books that have helped businesses of all sizes develop an effective and energetic staff.

    Top 7 Small Business Topic Posts of the Year

    Top 7 Small Business Topic Posts of the Year

    I’m a big believer in looking back, reflecting on what has gone well, and building on that in the new year to get closer to my goals.

    When I look at Modern da Vinci, the growth we’ve seen is incredible. It’s a sign that we’re on the right track, but more importantly, it’s a sign that the small business community is as vibrant as ever.

    Here are some incredible statistics from 2016:

    • Average reading time is up 21.45% over last year.
    • Bounce rate is down 35.14%.
    • 521.74% more page views this year over 2015.
    • 850.70% increase in new visitors in 2016!

    These statistics are obviously exciting for Seth and me here at Modern da Vinci. But more so, these statistics should make you proud. Proud to be a small business owner. Proud to be part of an ongoing conversation with owners like yourself, all learning and growing together.

    We’re excited for what’s to come in 2017. We’re looking forward to growing more with you and finding new small business owners like yourself to learn from.

    But before we end 2016, it’s worth reviewing the top posts in each of the five areas for a growing, thriving small business.

    2 Valuable Leadership Lessons from an Ugly Presidential Election

    2 Valuable Leadership Lessons from an Ugly Presidential Election

    Like many of you, I thoroughly appreciated the thoughtfulness, rationality, and unifying nature of the recent presidential election.

    As I was reflecting on how much everyone seemed to enjoy the entire election process and subsequent goodwill it created, a remarkable idea came to me. I thought, “why don’t I write a post that brings the election back up since people clearly haven’t had enough of it?”

    Sarcasm aside, I do believe there is something useful we can learn from the election, although I’m not going to focus on anything in the political arena. Instead, I’d like to talk about leadership issues that seemed to plague the candidates throughout the process. I’m specifically referring to two key leadership attributes where both candidates demonstrated obvious and consistent weaknesses...

    Business Focus and Clarity: How to Crush it with a Mentor

    Business Focus and Clarity: How to Crush it with a Mentor

    The most successful business leaders of this world, the ones who achieve incredible success, did so with the help of others. Before they earned their success, they learned from the masters of their time. They were mentored until they had turned the best lessons from someone more skilled than themselves into their own.

    Plenty of posts out there tell you how to find a mentor, what questions to ask a mentor, etc. But none of them really share how mentors can provide us with a decisive advantage. None of them help small business owners realize that some of the problems they face (like focus, uncertainty), can be addressed by a mentor in minutes. None of them tell a story of how a mentor made a difference or changed the author’s thinking.

    In this post, I want to share with you one such story of how a mentor changed my thinking (it sucked in the moment), and why having a mentor is so critical to your success as a small business owner.  

    How To Influence Your Customers to Buy Using Neuroscience with Glen Hellman

    How To Influence Your Customers to Buy Using Neuroscience with Glen Hellman

    Glen Hellman is a business expert and strategist that writes and presents on the topic of “How To Pitch to the Reptilian Brain.”  It’s an approach grounded in neuroscience that is designed to influence others and move them to action.  In this interview, Glen shares his insights on how to use these principles to sharpen your business’s sales pitch and how they can improve your leadership and business in general.